Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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