i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
