theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize