Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize