Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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