my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
