is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
