Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
