i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
