Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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