well I can't set my house on fire every night
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
