the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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