I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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