i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
