I smell stomach acid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
