Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
