everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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