flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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