I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
