everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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