the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So squirting runs in the family.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Randomize
