that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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