Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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