Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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