I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
