I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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