Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
