mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You ate ashes out of my bong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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