do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
