Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
