just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
