Need sex. Gaining weight.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were destined to go to rehab together
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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