And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
