what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
