so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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