can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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