ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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