"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
