I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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