Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize