Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
