If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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