Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
