I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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