idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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