I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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