just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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