I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
