Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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