my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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