wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
