Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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