And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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