Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
