I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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