I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
