Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
