Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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