I think I died a long time ago.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
