Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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