i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
