I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
