the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
