Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
