I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
