I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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